David Beckham is out to destroy the world

Don't ask me why this is news.

But because we really have nothing else worth writing about than to write about the New England Patriots, the New York Giants and how your Super Bowl XLII ticket just might bring world peace over and over and over and over again, we're giving you Beckham, and how he can destroy the world as we know it. Hee hee...

According to Soccer America daily, David Beckham is destroying the planet. He is responsible for 163 tons of carbon dioxide yearly. An average Englishman normally produces 9.4 tons. He he... Yep, and the magazine even has reference data provided by the British environmental group Carbon Trust.

Beckham's ''Carbon Footprint,'' pertaining to the measure of the impact human activities have on the environment in terms of the amount of green house gases produced, measured in units of carbon dioxide, may be the largest in human history. Yes, even bigger than that made by the entire 30-man roster of the New England Patriots.

Hee hee... NOPE. David Beckham is no fire-breathing dragon yet. He's breathing like the most of us do. (Probably...) What made him a threat to the environment is his extensive air travel for matches and endorsement obligations, along with his fleet of cars and homes.

Becks logged over 250,000 miles last year as he flew back and forth between the U.S. and Europe for England's European Championship qualifiers, while also participating in a Galaxy tour of Oceania in the latter part of the year.

David Beckham and his wife Victoria Beckham also collected over 50,000 frequent flyer miles for advertising obligations around the globe. Collectively, Beckham flew farther in 2007 than a trip from the earth to the moon.

Imagine that.

''He should use his celebrity status to make people aware of the damage that traveling can cause to the planet,'' a Carbon Trust spokesman said, according to the report. ''With all his money he should be using it at least to reduce his own footprint. He has more freedom of choice when it comes to methods of traveling. He could also choose greener cars.''

Maybe what this guy is really saying is this, ''Fuck. I should've been David Beckham.''

Here are the odds from AcesAce Sportsbook on who will win the 2008 UEFA Champions League title.

AC Milan EVEN +800

Liverpool EVEN +900

Manchester United EVEN +600

Barcelona EVEN +450

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2007-08 UEFA Champions League David Beckham